yeast infection
So guess what I did today guys? Locked my kid in the car with my keys and my phone! In the 100 degree heat! (Thank God it was only 10 AM and not later in the afternoon.) Fortunately (?), the fire department was right next to the plaza I was in. Interestingly enough, my stepdad managed to drive five minutes down the street, try and jimmie the door open, then finally start whacking at the window with a jack and got Parker out minutes BEFORE the firefighters could make it 100 yards to where we were. I’m not knocking the fire department and all that they do, but seriously, I WAS FUCKING FRANTIC. Luckily, it just so happened that we were in the parking lot of our pediatrician, so he got all sorts of popsicles and SpongeBob stickers up the wazoo. Then they poked needles in his legs.
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After we got home, what I really needed was a drink and a nap, but sometimes I have my priorities straight and decided that probably wouldn’t be the most productive plan of action. So instead of alcohol, I opted for carbs.
I’ve tried making bread before on more than one occaision. I’ve failed at brioche, cinnamon rolls, and well, let’s not talk about the time I decided to make my own dinner rolls for Thanksgiving. The morning of Thanksgiving. However, this was all in another time known as Before KitchenAid. “Things are different now,” I told myself. “There won’t be any kneading or bench flour or any other NONSENSE involved, I can do it!” So while I could have simply boiled some pasta and tossed it with tomato sauce, I opted for yeast. I figured I had already won the award for Shittiest Mom Everthis morning; I can pretty much fail at everything else I do the rest of the day and the catastrophe that was this morning will still top them all.
I went a pretty safe route–I decided to do a focaccia, and chose a recipe our of The Mixer Bible
Guess what you guys. I diiiiiiid it! While not exactly the focaccia of my dreams, I made bread. (The topping, however, I will be making on its own to eat raw.) I topped it with Parm shavings, which was good, but I’m almost positive I would have preferred cool, creamy dollops of good ricotta. I just didn’t have any. But as far as bread goes? There’s no stopping me now. I made yeast my bitch. (And it only took a few hours. Way better than the seven days it normally takes.)
Zucchini and Pinenut Focaccia
bread recipe adapted from The Mixer Bible1 package active dry yeast
1 1/3 cup warm water (will feel just warm to the touch)
1 teaspoon sugar
3 1/4 cups all purpose flour
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons salt3 medium zucchini, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
zest of one lemon, juice of half
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons toasted pinenuts
1 1/2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper to tasteParmasean or ricotta for serving
In the bowl of your mixer, combine the yeast, water and sugar and let stand about five minutes, or until it begins to foam. Add the flour, oil, and salt and mix on low with the paddle attachment until just combined. Switch to the dough hook and knead on medium speed for 3-4 minutes, or until soft and slightly sticky. If the dough is sticking too much to the bowl, add a tablespoon of flour at a time.
Pick up the dough, form into a ball, and drop back in the bow. Brush with olive oil, cover the bowl with a towel, and place in a warm spot to rise. The dough should double in size between 1-1 1/2 hours.
At this point, grease a 9×13 pan. Dump the dough into the pan and using your fingers, press it out to the edges. (It will pull back on itself, but be aggressive and it will eventually stay.) Cover again, and let rise for another hour.
Meanwhile, preheat oven to 425. Combine the topping ingredients in a medium bowl, reserving 1 tablespoon of the oil. When the dough has completed it’s second proofing, brush with the remaining tablespoon of oil. Distribute the topping over the top, pressing it down lightly into the dough. Bake for 20-25 minutes.
When done, slide it out onto a cooling rack. Either shave or dollop your choice of cheese over the top, slice into squares, and serve.
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Well, I’m glad the car situation worked out (relatively) OK!!
Don’t be ‘fraid of the yeast, Y’only need a little practice. 1st time I made sourdough bread at work was a DISASTER!!!! But I soon got the hang of it. Now, I have the ’sense’ of the proper feel of the dough in my hands and all is cool!
Keep on, hun!
I am happy everything worked out with opening your car. I think the fire fighters should have been there a lot faster! I am happy you finally made bread. I suck at cooking unless its meat then I am the man. :) lol other than that my girlfriend does the cooking. I am trying to learn how to cook other things than meat.
Ok, I adore you Meleyna, but this is just the freakiest post title! But than again, only you could pull it off!
And locking your keys in the car, I’ve seen it happen and you did the right thing! If it were my kid I’d be kicking the windows in too! You’re not a bad mommy. A bad mommy would have said “F-ck it” and went for a latte till the fire dept got there.
But no one ever said parenting was easy, right!?
Anyways, bravo on the bread! I have yet to attempt such.
Haha, I know, I know, it’s gross, but I couldn’t resist. Typical.
Meleyna,
I’ve just gotta say…”Locking your kid in the car is a right of passage”…sort of. Almost every mother I know {including me} has done it once. After that, you get a spare car key and hide it in your purse or outside the car or somewhere you’ll always know but no one else will. My friend had taken her one year old little girl to the doctor and found out that she had bronchitis and was running a temp of 102. Anyway they gave the baby a shot and sent my friend to the drug store to fill several prescriptions to start right away. So she got to the drug store, and she locked the baby in the car with her keys and purse inside. She freaked, of course, and they finally got it open with the assistance of the druggist, the post office dudes, several random police officers who had nothing better to do at the time, a crowd of onlookers, and a wire hanger. The only people missing were her mother-in-law (OMG) and the eye witness news team. You are a super great mother…SO THERE!!!
That focaccia sounds so good. I’m baking some bread right now in my bread maker. (No kneading, mixing, flour mess, etc.) I have to make my own since I’m allergic to soy and everything you buy at the grocery has soy in it. (Look at the box and can ingredients…they sneak it into everything!} Even with the bread machine, it’s very satisfying to bake bread and have it come out right. It makes me feel like SUPER MOM!!! Even on the days I’m not sure I’m up to par on any front.
Have a great rest of the day and look forward to your next blog…Much love and many blessings,
June
I would leave my two cents but since you probably, most definitely, bake better than I do, I won’t.
What an awful experience that must have been. I’m a few years away from having any children come into my life, but I am almost certain something like this will happen to me. Much like my mother who put my brother’s carrier, with him in it, on top of the car, only to watch him tumble down onto the sidewalk moments later. I think every mother has those stories and we all ended up okay in spite of them.
The bread looks amazing! I have been having a lot of fun with yeast and Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day (highly recommended if your bread-challenged), but have yet to try a foccacia. I’m bookmarking your recipe!